Perhaps, I should be a screenwriter…

today, my mechanic informed me, ‘you have too much junk in your trunk”.
and with a raise eyebrow, i put down my bagel.

…
Setting: Tower Records

Characters:
1 Male, 18-22yrs old, store clerk
1 Male, mid-20s, customer purchasing music CDs.

Customer, “oh, hi. i noticed that this CD was listed as 11.99 on the website. but it’s 16.99 here.”
Clerk, “uh huh. well, why didnt you buy it online?”
Cust, “oh, because i wanted to get it now, instead of waiting for it to be delivered.”
Clerk,”oh ok. well, in that case, thats a “now” charge.”
Cust, “what? thats crazy.”
Clerk,”yea, well you’re crazy.”, points finger.
Cust,[confused look], “you must hate your job.”
Clerk,”of course! except for moments like these.”

———-

so that didn’t happen, but the thought occurred…in my head. even though i’d be the customer and the clerk would be the clerk. but it just amuses me, like my other made up one about teh supermarket. here it is again! cause it makes me laugh cause its more raw than the above one.

——-
setting: supermarket – the rice and pasta aisle.

Characters:
1 caucasian male shopper, 30-40 yrs old, curiously confused.
1 chinese male shopper, early 20s, easily disgruntled.

caucasian male, “Excuse me, can you help me?”
asian male, “um. sure, what do you need?”
cm, “I’m looking at all these rices here, and what do you suggest is a good type of rice grain?”
am, “you’re looking at the rices and you’re asking me whats the best one?…”
cm,”Yes” (blink blink)
am, “its jasmine, its good.”
cm,”Thanks. I could tell you know whats a good type of rice.”
am, “… ok. now that i helped you, maybe you can help me.”
cm,”Sure.”
am, “heres a picture of my two sisters… can you suggest which one i should fuck?”
cm,”…” (runs away)
am, “hey, where are you going? what? i can’t ask you something you might know about?”

——–
brain = imagination station, and the train has already left…
——-

A Verbal Game…

this is the point where i write a series of the same sentences but change it up a bit. its called repetition for a point or something. i dont really know what its called, its just a silly bit of fun that i have in my mind when i’m brushing my teeth, but have decided to share it with you all because i have nothing better to do … except sleep. but sleep only benefits me technically, whereas an entry can benefit the many.

for the greater good….

i pass gas sometimes to remind me that life stinks.

i pass gas sometimes to remind me that life can be quite potent

i pass gas sometimes to remind me the smell of bretts beard after the rain. (not true, but wanted to instigate some reader comments :-p)

i pass gas sometimes to remind me that i’m alive.

i pass gas sometimes to remind me that farts can also smell like asparagus.

i pass gas sometimes to remind me of what death smells like.

i pass gas sometimes to remind me of why i don’t have a girlfriend and/or roommate.

i pass gas sometimes to remind me of what i ate.

i pass gas sometimes to see if i am sick.

i pass gas sometimes to see if the milk has, indeed, gone bad.

i paass gas sometimes to see if it’s cold in the room (it’d be steam if it was).

i pass gas sometimes to try if i can levitate on my own propulsion.

i pass gas sometimes to try and push dust off objects. (like those compressed air bottle for computers)

i pass gas sometimes to try to be on the hour every hour.

i pass gas sometimes to try and keep with the beat.

i pass gas sometimes cause i laugh too hard.

i pass gas sometimes cause i hope no one notices

i pass gas sometimes cause the wind is blowing away from the crowd.

i pass gas sometimes cause i can.

and i’m sure theres more reasonings or thoughts or just ideals or metaphors, but for now thats all i got, cause its late. and i did have a series of thoughts when i was in the bathroom. and so thats where i have my most thoughts, cause my mind isn’t about the process at hand, be it peeing, pooping, showering, or brushing my teeth. those are kinda like automated actions and so my mind wanders.