han solo looks like he's holding air boobs.

Man thoughts – Conversations – Girlfriends and Food

scenario: Kitchen – office setting.

man 1 enters and pulls a tofu sandwich out of his lunch bag. Sees friend (man 2).

man2: “Hey, man. I didn’t know you’re a vegetarian.”

man1 “Oh. This. Nah, I’m not. You see my girlfriend is a vegetarian, so she made me this.”

man2 “That’s cool of her to do that.”

man 1 “Yea. She doesn’t eat meat, like chicken, pork, or beef. She even cut out eggs and whole milk. Me. On the other hand, I like to eat anything, well, except vagina of course. Man’s gotta have his limits.”

man2 “…”

han solo looks like he's holding air boobs.

fi_girlfriend-bathroom

Imaginary Conversations in My Brain

scenario: bathroom – office setting.

man 1 enters and washes his hands. Sees friend (man 2).

man2: “you wash your hands before you use the restroom?”

man1: “yea, well, its cause i just ate a burger and my hands kinda smell like meat, so i dont want to get that smell on my junk.”

man2: “oh ok.”

man1: “yea. plus my girlfriend’s a vegetarian so you know.”

—

make sense? cause sometimes i wonder if i do or not.

thought

That time of the month to talk about vaginas…

So there was an episode of Modern Family this past week that talked about how sometimes when girls are living together, their body cycles synch up, which means they start having the same day for their period. And that happens.  I don’t know how, but it happens. And if you think about it, it is really kinda weird.

It’s like the vaginas are somehow communicating with one another.  Telepathically, perhaps? Whispers in the night?

Regardless of the manner in which the communication happens, it just makes me wonder how the conversation goes. Maybe something like:

Vagina 1, “Hey Vagina 2, how are you doing?”

Vagina 2, “Heavy.”

Vagina 1, “Oh bother, that’s not good. So, you’ll be like this for the next seven days, huh?

Vagina 2 sigh, “yea…”

Vagina 1, “Hmm. Well that doesn’t really work for me.  How bout we synch up next month, and then you won’t feel as bad.”

Vagina 2, “Sounds great! Thanks Vagina 1!”

Or not.